The Cheerleader

As a 50 year old woman, with 25 years of marriage behind me, multiple careers, and now an empty-ish nest, I find myself standing at a crossroads—one I never truly saw coming. I've been blindsided, by life itself. I thought that by now I would be chillin'. You know, the kind of chill that comes with going wherever I want, whenever I want. Or nowhere at all, if that was also on the menu, because "What kinds?" But nope, I find myself in a bit a of a mid-life conundrum.

For a long time, I’ve been a cheerleader. Literally, in high school, I cheered at the games, supporting others as they basked in the spotlight. As the years passed, I became the ultimate cheerleader for my children and siblings, encouraging them to chase their dreams, to step out fearlessly into the world, and to be unapologetically independent.

Now, my children and siblings are grown, carving out their own paths in life, and I feel some sense of pride that I've done my part to raise somewhat decent human beings. But as I watch them flourish and sometimes flounder, a question has started to take root in my mind: Who am I cheering for now?

Over the years, I’ve thrown myself into trying to uplift and support those around me—friends, family, work colleagues. I’ve always been the one pushing others to their goals, but when it comes to pushing myself, there’s been hesitation and apprehension. I’ve had dreams, desires, and passions that I’ve put on hold. Somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that it wasn’t my time, or worse, that it was too late.

So now at 50 big years, married for two and a half decades (HALF MY DAMN LIFE), I feel an unsettling mix of excitement and fear. I want to step into this next phase of my life with confidence, but I can’t help but wonder if I’m capable of doing it for me. It’s like being on the sidelines again, except this time, the person I’m supposed to be cheering for is myself. And the truth is, I’m not sure how to.

But here’s what I’ve learned as a cheerleader, as a mother, and as a friend: You don’t need to have it all figured out to take the first step. Sometimes, you just need faith. That’s why I’ve thrown myself into finding a church home, hoping that by building my faith, I can build the courage I need to pursue my own dreams. I know the power of belief, because I’ve seen what it can do for others. Now, I need to apply that same energy to my own journey.

This season of life feels unfamiliar and so, so very uncomfortable, but maybe that’s what growth is supposed to feel like. I’ve been on this earth for five decades, and I still have so much life to live, so many dreams to chase. There’s no blueprint for what comes next, but that’s the beauty of it. Right?

I’m learning that it’s okay to step into the spotlight, to be the person who receives encouragement, not just the one giving it. After all, I’ve spent years lifting others up and giving them their flowers while they're still here on Earth. Now, it’s time do the same for me, to lift myself.

So here I am, and I’m figuring it out, one step at a time. I don’t have all the answers, but I do have faith (a bit more than a mustard seed - IYKYK). And maybe that’s enough to get started.

To all the women in a similar season of life, feeling unsure of how to begin this next chapter, let’s cheer for ourselves. Let’s take that first step, no matter how small, and see where it leads. Our best days are not behind us—they are just beginning.